Rite of Passage

When I got home from work yesterday and I was walking Abby out, she said, oh, Sara, today Elle cut her bangs. She told me she was going into the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror and then she cut her bangs. She really didn't want me to tell you. So, I said ok, and went into see what this hair cut looked like. I had her hair in braids, so the "natural" part of the bangs were already down, because they are not long enough really to tie back into the braid. Honestly, it looked a little like my bangs and I was very thankful that she didn't cut above her eye brow line! Anyway, I have not officially "done" her hair yet to know how it will turn out, but I am not too worried about it.

I was thinking a lot about Elle last night -- being that next month she will be 5. It seems like a pretty big birthday to me -- knowing that she has been here on earth of 5 full years. I can see how much she is trying to change already and morph into this next stage in her life. So, it is natural, I guess, that she is taking interest in her clothing choice and her hair bow color and how her hair looks. To me, I thought this "cutting" of the hair was a rite of passage in sorts. I thought back to the time I cut my hair --

1. In college, right after I tried out for cheerleader, and didn't make it, I cut off all of my hair
2. When I got pregnant with Elle, I cut off my hair
3. After Emme turned 3 last year, and I felt like I was coming out of the deep sea I had been drowning in -- I cut off all of it, probably the shortest it has ever been

This morning, I looked up rite of passage and exactly what it means and the history, and it is funny to me, that they use the illustration of a person cutting their hair when joining the army -- they are "cutting" away from their former self.


A rite of passage is a ritual event that marks a person's progress from one status to another. It is a universal phenomenon which can show anthropologists what social hierarchies, values and beliefs are important in specific cultures. Rites of passage are often ceremonies surrounding events such as other milestones within puberty, coming of age, marriage and death. Initiation ceremonies such as baptism, confirmation and bar or bat Mitzvah are considered important rites of passage for persons of their respective religions.
Rites of passage have three phases: separation, transition, and re-incorporation. In the first phase, people withdraw from their current status and prepare to move from one place or status to another. There is often a detachment or ‘cutting away’ from the former self in this phase, which is signified in symbolic actions and rituals. For example, the cutting of the hair for a person who has just joined the army. He or she is 'cutting away' the former self - the civilian. The transition (liminal) phase is the period between states, during which one has left one place or state but hasn't yet entered or joined the next; the person adjust to the new status. In the third phase, having completed the rite and assumed their 'new' identity, one re-enters society with one's new status. Re-incorporation is characterized by elaborate rituals and ceremonies, like debutant balls and college graduation.

You can see on the right side of her hair, the edge of the bangs, right by her eye