It seems that I bottle everything up, stewing about it on my way into work or in the shower, and then something small happens and BAM "Angry Sara" (as I like to call her) comes to life.
I looked up the meaning of this phrase: The idiom the straw that broke the camel's back is from an Arab proverb about how a camel wearing shoes is loaded beyond its capacity to move[citation needed]. This is a reference to any process by which cataclysmic failure (a broken back) is achieved by a seemingly inconsequential addition (a single straw).
Well, I will say this blog post has a happy ending. I did something this morning that I don't think I have done in the history of Joe and my 7 year marriage. I actually talked to Joe like a civil human being telling him what was on my mind and why I have been feeling frustrated
You see, on Monday night, my "straw" was that I couldn't find the mail key and got mad at Joe when he answered my question of "have you seen the mail key" -- and he simply said "no".
Well after a bit of an attack I told him we would just talk about it later. This morning I called Joe and told him what was on my mind. I told him I needed a few days to think about the actual "root cause" of my bad mood. I told him that my love tank was just not full. Refer to the 5 Love Languages book for more meaning. Even though Joe and I were together all last week, we never had time to just chill by ourselves, and that is what makes me the happiest. When Joe and I are just hanging out talking and just being together. I also told him that I hadn't been working out (refer to my blog post on Monday) and that it is hard when he travels.
The night we got into the fight was the night before he left for an out of town trip. I figured out that I am not so much bothered by him being gone as I am about the anticipation of him leaving. Those that have husbands travel can relate to those emotions. I just want him to try to do everything he can before he leaves so it doesn't leave me with all of the stuff do to and take care of the kids. Anyway, we worked through it.... without yelling or getting defensive... what a concept... a communication breakthrough!
Just by getting those frustrations out with out getting so worked up makes me feel like a different person! Here is a favorite picture of us. I love Joe so much deeper than I ever thought I could love anyone.
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